The Brass Chef
by silentmovie-x
Summary: Cecile is a long way off the title of "Iron Chef" but when Lloyd replaces every item of food in the freezer with pudding, he and Suzaku are forced to endure a test of her culinary skills. Written on a partial sugar-high.


**A/N**

And so we come to another short Code Geass Fic. I really need to do something else with my holidays, but I'm having fun with this.

This one was a bit of an attempt at humour, which my friend wanted me to write more of after I tried my hand at a different one (which I might get around to uploading later). I don't usually try to write "funny" stuff, I think I do better with the serious fics, but when it comes to writing fanfiction my friend Mel says 'jump' and I say 'how high?' ... Most of the time.

Anyway, enjoy.

As usual, the disclaimer. I do not own Code Geass. Blah Blah Blah.

* * *

**The Brass Chef**

Lloyd was running through a check on the Lancelot's systems as usual when he was interrupted by a shout from another room.

'Where's all the food? The only thing in here is pudding.' It was Suzaku, rummaging through the freezer as usual. That boy had an insatiable appetite.

'Hmm? Would you mind bringing some of that back for me?' Lloyd smiled as he span around in his chair. Pudding! Delicious, delicious pudding!

Suzaku reappeared with two bowls of the dessert in hand, looking very disappointed. He handed one to Lloyd, who grinned like a kid in a candy store. 'So... where did all the _other_ foods go?'

Lloyd ignored him and scooped a huge spoonful of pudding into his mouth, somehow managing to smear it halfway across his face in the process. 'Kururugi-kun, could you get me a napkin? Pudding is delicious, but it's also very messy.'

Suzaku sighed and went back to the kitchen, returning seconds later with the "required materials". The bowl of pudding he had gotten for himself was as empty as the one that sat next to it.

'Did you eat my pudding?' He asked, eye twitching in annoyance.

Lloyd simply smiled as he took the napkin and mopped the stains off his face. 'You abandoned it, so I thought I might as well eat it.'

Suzaku tried very hard not to face-palm as Lloyd span around once more in his chair and Cecile walked in.

'What's wrong Suzaku-kun?' She asked when she saw the frown on his face.

'All our food is gone. Again.' He shook his head. 'All that's left is pudding.'

Cecile smiled sympathetically. She knew this happened every few weeks or so, but so far Suzaku wasn't used to the sudden changes in their working conditions. Everything in the freezer being replaced by pudding, sudden and unexpected changes to the functions of the Lancelot and declarations of a study on chair racing speed times were all in a day's work when your boss was the one and only Lloyd Asplund.

'Perhaps I can find enough food left around here to cook something up for you.' She suggested.

Suzaku gagged at the thought. He remembered the last time Cecile had tried to cook for them. Chicken skewers drenched in a whole bottle of wasabi was not his idea of fine dining.

'That's okay, I think I'll be fine.'

'But there's only pudding in the freezer, don't you want something different?' She asked, slightly disappointed that no one wanted to eat her cooking.

'It's not just pudding!' Lloyd declared proudly as he jumped to his feet. 'There's cheese pudding and plum pudding. Bread pudding and chocolate pudding. Red pudding, rice pudding, Indian pudding and summer pudding!'

He leaped up onto his chair with his eyes sparkling as he envisioned the numerous desserts.

'This is normal behaviour, right?' Suzaku asked, backing away slowly.

'Yes, yes it is.' Cecile laughed uneasily. She was a little nervous as to what Lloyd would do next. 'Perhaps I'll go shopping and get food with a little more "variety".' She fled the scene as Lloyd jumped off his chair and continued to list his most beloved food.

'There is mango pudding, pudding pops, black pudding, corn pudding, groaty pudding, pease pudding, tapioca pudding...'

Suzaku tried to act calm as he pretended to listen to the mad engineer.

--

Cecile returned half an hour later to see Suzaku slumped on the floor and looking quite delirious as Lloyd continued to list types of pudding.

'Yorkshire pudding, liver pudding, white pudding, cabinet pudding, figgy pudding, sticky toffee pudding...'

'Okay, I'm back and I brought a buffet's worth of goodies.' She announced, brandishing her grocery bags proudly. Suzaku groaned and Lloyd stopped his rambling.

'Mm? Cecile-kun, is there any pudding in that bag by any chance?' He asked, smiling like he hadn't been listing his favourite desserts for half an hour straight.

'Uh no, but I do have some lamb and spices.' She shrugged and made her way into the kitchen. 'I'm sure I can whip something delicious up.'

Suzaku groaned again, but followed anyway. So did Lloyd, who helped himself to another bowl of pudding while he waited for Cecile to ready her ingredients.

The next two hours were spent attempting to cook the lamb, which was, at first taste test, undercooked.

Cecile had apologized profusely through the bathroom door to Suzaku, who had been the unfortunate one to test it out.

The next test saw that the meat was properly cooked and smothered in seasonings. Cecile had thrown a bit of everything into the pan; rosemary, basil, capsicum, tomato sauce, lemon juice, cheese, pepper, chilli...

Lloyd cut a bite-sized portion from the concoction and chewed it thoughtfully for a few moments. He gulped it down and blinked a few times before promptly falling off his chair.

Cecile sighed in frustration and started again from scratch.

--

Another six hours, several attempted dishes and fourteen helpings of pudding later, Cecile set her last slice of lamb down in front of her unwilling test subjects. It was her last chance for redemption, her last chance for glory.

Suzaku and Lloyd looked at each other and decided that they would both take a bite. It was only fair. Together, they readied their cutlery and equally sized portions. Nervously, they chewed the food as Cecile waited, her hands clasped together hopefully.

Suzaku grimaced and gulped down his mouthful. He looked sideways at Lloyd, who did likewise and looked back. All three waited in anticipation.

'It is... passable.' Suzaku blanched. He wanted to get the horrible taste out of his mouth, but at least it wasn't going to make him sick.

'Huzzah!' Cecile shouted excitedly, jumping up and down in triumph. She had finally managed to gain some skill in the culinary arts after all.

'Now, some pudding to celebrate!' Lloyd smiled, banging his spoon on the table pointedly. 'Cecile-kun, if you would?'

She nodded and turned around to hoist three bowls of pudding out of the freezer. As she did, Suzaku and Lloyd spit the mouthfuls of lamb they had "swallowed" out into their napkins. Neither of them was willing to risk contracting a sickness from bad cooking.

'I'll have to cook for you both more often now.' Cecile declare proudly as she set the bowls down in front of them.

Suzaku and Lloyd just forced a couple of smiles and nodded, not wanting to disappoint her.


End file.
